LIVING in PITTSBURGH: Christmas Tree Lot, Bloomfield

Each December in Pittsburgh we would buy a Christmas tree on a street corner in the neighborhood of Bloomfield. This time the guy didn’t have much of a selection, but he sent me to his boss’ lot, deep in another part of Bloomfield. I travel that evening down the main avenue, Liberty Ave., and look for ‘Xmas Trees’ signs to get there. There was one such sign on Liberty, and then you’re on your own, traveling down a narrow residential street till it ends at a ‘T’. To the left is darkness; to the right, a full block away, were a few lights. I headed that way, and on the edge of a steep valley was a fenced lot and abandoned garage that served as the Christmas tree store.

I picked out what-I-thought-was-a-gorgeous tree, at the very reasonable price of $25, and brought it home. Licia (Licia is my wife) hated it—the spaces between the branches, which I see as inviting depths to adorn with decorations, she saw as ugly gaping holes. Had her parents not been driving 1,000 miles from Kansas to spend the holiday with us, then maybe I would have been more stubborn, but I agreed to try to exchange the tree.

I stopped by the lot the next evening, without the tree, and asked The Guy about trading the tree. He said sure. So the following night, Licia, the kids and I strapped the tree back atop the station wagon, and headed down to the lot. The Guy was helping another couple at the time, but when they went off browsing for a tree, I greeted him, reminding him of our deal, and asked where I should unload the tree. Then it got weird.

“I’m with a customer. Come back later,” he said.
“But we just want to exchange the tree.”
“No, no, look, you want your money back? Here’s your money back.”
“No, we want a tree. In fact we’ll pay you extra for a bigger tree.”
“You want a tree? Go to Home Depot. They sell trees. What was it, twenty dollars? Here’s twenty dollars.”
I think I stopped arguing with him at that point, and took the money that we didn’t want. We figured that he didn’t want the other customer seeing him exchange a tree, as they would think it’s policy. Perhaps he thought other families were as contentious as ours.

We did end up going to Home Depot, the national mega-store, and spending our money there instead of at the Little Tree Store That Wouldn’t.